Man Meet Your Maker, I Give You the Author

Maggie Stough's writings for Intro to Creative Writing

Journal 6

December2

Blanket Fort

by Maggie Stough

 

I make poor choices

when it comes to blanket forts.

Hiding away

under all the blankets

we have,

staying up until four a.m.,

playing truth or dare,

talking out our problems,

then you almost kissed me.

We laughed and laughed and laughed.

Then we hugged and cuddled.

Faces barely visible in the dark,

we kept talking.

Time doesn’t matter.

Our innocence is gone,

our imagination has left,

these are not the games

of our youth,

but the problems

in our lives.

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One Comment to

“Journal 6”

  1. Avatar December 2nd, 2012 at 9:31 PM dlamber2 Says:

    The sudden present tense in the line, “time doesn’t matter” is jarring the first read-through, but the second time I read it, it was a neat transition from commentary on the past and the present– not sure if this is a good though, for it to be awkward at first.
    I like the first line broken off where it was, because it tricks the reader into thinking the poem is going to be more dismal and self-reproachful, but then is quickly contrasted with the mention of blanket forts.
    I think it will be more natural if you write “4 a.m.” rather than “four a.m.”
    Finally, I’m not sure what kind of comment you’re trying to make on adult life, being so different from childish blanket-fort play, since you at first set up childhood and innocence as a sort of everlasting effect, even if only through nostalgia. If one’s imagination is left, one wouldn’t be able to look back on this sort of childhood and find some aspect of it that could be missed, it would only be remembered as a silly waste of time.


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